How To Forget A Person
Need to move on from a painful relationship? Here's how to stop thinking about the person who broke your heart...
1. Cut off contact. You
can't forget someone if you still see him or her all the time, or
constantly hear about his or her activities. Consider these strategies:
- Take steps to make sure you won't run into this person during your day-to-day activities. If you tend to go grocery shopping at the same time, or take the same route home from work, tweak your schedule slightly so that a chance meeting becomes more unlikely.
- For right now, avoid social gatherings where you know he or she will be present. Politely explain to the host that you hope the event goes well, and that you're staying away only because you want to avoid a painful encounter.
- Remove him or her from your electronic life. Delete his or her contact information from your phone and email account, block his or her Facebook profile, and take any other measures to prevent unwanted contact. If necessary, change your email address.
- Ask your mutual friends to stop updating you on this person's doings. Something terribly interesting might have happened, but you don't need to hear about it. If your friend forgets and accidentally mentions this person to you, gently remind him or her of your request, saying something like, "I'm sorry, Jane, but it's too upsetting for me to think about Bill. Maybe we could talk about something else."
2. Remove all reminders of this person. Purge your life
of anything that brings up painful memories of this person. Not looking
at these things every day will help you move on.
- If you can't bear to get rid of certain items, bag them up and ask a family member or close friend if you can store them in their house, away from easy access. Request that the items be kept out of your reach for at least 6 months.
- Go through your MP3 player and delete any songs that remind you of him or her. Replace them with encouraging, upbeat tracks that encourage you to be confident and forge ahead.
- If you have a child or a pet with this person, obviously you can't just get rid of them. Instead, focus on the things you have done to nurture this being and give it a good life.
3. Stop thinking about him or her. Once you've cut off
contact and removed visible reminders of this person, it should be
easier to avoid thinking about your pain. If, however, a sudden thought
does intrude, stop it in its tracks. Say "no" to yourself or out loud,
and immediately shift your attention to whatever is in front of you.
Resist the urge to wallow in self-pity, and resolve that thinking of him
or her in any way is off-limits.
4. Get over any desire for revenge. Recognize that
wanting to take revenge on someone (by making him or her jealous, upset,
or sorry) still qualifies as thinking about them. You can't move on and
forget if you're obsessed with vengeance, so learn how to let it go.
- If you believe in a higher power, karma, or some form of cosmic justice, reason that he or she will get the appropriate payback eventually.
- If you don't believe that someone else will dole out payback on your behalf, make peace with the fact that life's not fair. This person may have hurt you unjustly, but that doesn't give you the right to act out.
- Remember the old George Herbert quote: "Living well is the best revenge." Going on with your life and refusing to sink to the other person's level communicates to him or her that you won't be affected by what happened, essentially rendering it insignificant.
5. If you're still having trouble, set aside time to express your feelings.
If you've tried everything and still can't resist thinking about him or
her, try a new approach. Set aside a limited amount of time (such as an
hour or two) to sit down and write out all your feelings about what
happened. Once time is up or you've run out of things to say (whichever
happens first), close the document and put it away somewhere. Next time
you're tempted to dwell on this person, tell yourself, "No, I've already
expressed my feelings about that. I won't waste time by doing it
again."
6. If you're still having trouble, set aside time to express your feelings.
If you've tried everything and still can't resist thinking about him or
her, try a new approach. Set aside a limited amount of time (such as an
hour or two) to sit down and write out all your feelings about what
happened. Once time is up or you've run out of things to say (whichever
happens first), close the document and put it away somewhere. Next time
you're tempted to dwell on this person, tell yourself, "No, I've already
expressed my feelings about that. I won't waste time by doing it
again."
TIPS
- Forgetting someone can help you move on, but try not to forget what you learned from the relationship. No time is wasted as long as you learned something.
- Don't try to get your stuff back. Unless it's a diamond ring or something that's one-of-a-kind, you're better off not contacting her to get it back. DVDs, clothes, your extra toothbrush ... just let 'em go. They're only possessions. Is it really worth the pain of being in her presence just to reclaim a pair of boxer shorts? Don't exchange your dignity for menial belongings.
- Don't obsess about getting "closure." Cut off contact now, and resist the urge to resort to theatrics (such as sending a lengthy "goodbye email"). Just stop.
- Do something other than what you might have done with them. Start branching out into new things.
- Hang out with your friends. Let your buddies give you a reality check on how your ex wasn't all that to begin with, and that there are more fish in the sea.
- Don't be quick to jump into a new relationship in order to forget last. This will always fail.
- It's always difficult to forget a long term relationship, just know you deserve better & nobody's perfect. Understand that life goes on and so do people.
Try This . . .
Sources : http://www.wikihow.com/Forget-a-Person
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